she was a goofy looking puppy. she had dozens of names: sally, snuggy, snoots, boots....
one year ago today, i lost my beautiful friend, my forever dog, Shiloh. She was only a couple weeks shy of her 11th birthday when we found out how very sick she was on the inside and we had to say goodbye. I remember sitting on the floor, in a smallish exam room, in the vet's office; we'd called from the car--- i was speeding and AJ was holding her, singing to her and trying to keep her from seizing--- they'd prepared for us and had laid a large quilt out on the cold floor for us. I remember kissing her forehead, hard, and nodding my head for the needle. It was time.
This morning I woke up with little mason curled up in the space behind my knees, breathing steadily and making the backs of my legs warm. I smiled and with my eyes still closed, i hugged "Sally" the knitimal just a little tighter."Sally" was the cathartic wool friend i made myself in the week surrounding Shiloh's passing. "Sally's" insides are stuffed with cotton, and a lock of Shiloh's hair.
We got Mason a few weeks after we lost Shiloh.
Shiloh didn't like other dogs, but we'd asked her repeatedly when we could get "Binky" (an actual mini dachshund, whose photograph we'd printed from his online ad and taped to the wall in the kitchen)--- Whenever we asked her a question, we'd hold out an open hand---if she gave us a paw, that meant yes, ; if she kept her paws planted, that meant no. She would say yes to Chinese Food, staying up late, going for walks, watching a particular movie and other important things... but whenever we asked her about Binky, we got no paw. One day, in November, i asked her if Binky could come home in a week? (no paw), a month? (no paw), a few months? (paw).
So, when we knew we were ready for the sounds & smells of a dog to be a part of our lives again, we weren't surprised to realize it had in fact been "a few months".
We were pretty sure Shiloh wanted Mason to become a part of our lives.
I look at Mason and i think "how does anyone NOT have a dachshund?... how did WE live without one?!"... this little boy is such a goofball; he's tiny & noodle-y and obsessed with individual bits of kibble that slide under the refrigerator and taunt his genetic predisposition to slink into tight spaces in search of the un-findable. He sits on my head and wriggles his way under any blanket i put on my lap. He squats when he pees and stands on 2 legs when he wants a piece of an apple or baby carrot. He's AMAZING at "leave it" and will completely ignore a chunk of chicken sitting ON his paw if you tell him to. He can out run an italian greyhound and has crushes on bostons and frenchies. He falls asleep while sucking on Red Dog or his rope tuggy, like a dog pacifier. He wears jackets & looks like a pencil. His eyes are huge and he is the sweetest, best little dog anyone looking to fill a giant dog shaped whole in their heart could want.
But he's not Shiloh and i still miss my little girl so much.
so, so much.
dear friends, spend time with your four legged family today.
love you, sally.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Posted by Fall 2011 at 11:35 AM